This is my first time so please be gentle.

“Happy blogging!” – WordPress

Okay. I am a newbie in this blogsite. I have a Tumblr and Blogspot account, but I haven’t been updating them much since who knows when. This is my first post, and since my URL has something to do with distress, I’ll start with a depressing post. Depressing in a shallow manner. I can be sooo pathetic. I know.

So I’m twenty-one. In three months, I’ll be twenty-two. I am jobless, still working on a college degree. I was supposed to be a graduate last year but I took a wrong turn in my college life, and here I am! Six years in college. This is my fourth year in a supposed two-year associate course. I’m getting tired. Who wouldn’t? I have no idea what to do in life. It was so easy when I was young. I kinda had a goal. But gahd, reality can be so depressing. And life will let you know in a screwed up way, that you can’t have everything you want. But you do have to work hard for it if you really want it.

I don’t know what I want. That is the hard part. Most of the time, I’m being dragged down. And it’s sad because I know I can do better, be better than this. But I don’t do anything about it. I’m scared, afraid; I don’t want to take risks. And in saying that, I am a hypocrite. I keep telling my friends that in order to be happy, to really get what you want, you need to take risks. And here I am! Scared to even do anything to make my life better, to follow my dreams! If I met myself when I was sixteen, Lord, would I be disgusted in how I’d turn out to be.

I just feel sad… Knowing all this. And yet, I don’t do anything about it…

I just want to write.

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