Missing (on) a lot of things? Not really. I have Monica. :)

Earlier, I made a short visit to one of my best friends since high school. We had catching up to do and I was seeking solace for I was pissed off with my one true love. Monica gave me that, and I’m happy. Thanks, babygurl. 🙂

While we were talking, of course we brought up the past and a lot of other stuff. We got to talking about our former crushes and friends who just stopped being friends. We reminisced for a while, even went through her photos. I told her I wanted to relive our prom night. She said she missed her long hair and her thinness back then. Of course, we had a talk about our ultimate crushes. HAHAHAHA! Of which we only felt giddiness, up to now. Yes. Ehem, JR, ehem. Haha. We also talked about our, uhm, romances which happened while in college, with high school buddies. Mine were, of course, short-lived. I regret the first one. The second, well, I’m glad it happened. While hers was an on-off thing, it went on for years until it was finally cut. Completely. And here I am, her rock.

Since we talked about our past, we talked about the present. And the future. You can’t talk about one without the other. We miss high school – the carefree days, the friendships we made, and the easiness of it all. We’d like to turn back time for a while. But we also like who we are right now, even though we’re not successful (yet) or have no accomplishments that are mention-worthy (except hers, she’s a cum laude in her university). We didn’t see this coming, and neither did we plan it. But it’s definitely something. We met. and still continue to meet, other people, interesting characters that add color in our lives. We learned lessons that help us shape our decisions. We keep learning, And learning. It’s the only thing we do. And we changed. Drastically, may I add. But we’re still the same.

And here is one of the most wonderful and precious friendships I will ever have. I treasure this. Monica is my rock, too. I’m just glad that we have the ability to keep our friendship. Even though we don’t have the time to always check up on each other, and we might not see each other for a while, we know that we’re friends. And no matter what happens, we’ll always be friends. This is the kind of love that doesn’t consume you, it only nourishes you both. And I’ve told her this before, she is a blessing, a one of a kind. And I’m so happy I have her in my life. 🙂

Cheers to seven years of friendship, babygurl! Be happy!


A totally “awww” moment.

I think it was Thursday and my boyfriend, Lucian, and I went to a nearby grocery. While we were finishing our food in one of the siomai stands, I saw a little boy and a little girl run towards this tall, huge badass-looking man (bald and with tattoos), and he was crouched down and his arms were open. They hugged him hard, and they were smiling with glee. He was hunkered down for a long time and they were just like that for a few minutes. Then a pretty woman came along, looked adoringly at them and touched the man’s head with love. I was just staring at them for the longest time. My boyfriend saw my face, I don’t know what I looked like, and then he hugged me.

I envy those two children. Their father loves them. And they just made me realize that all is still right in the world.

This is my first time so please be gentle.

“Happy blogging!” – WordPress

Okay. I am a newbie in this blogsite. I have a Tumblr and Blogspot account, but I haven’t been updating them much since who knows when. This is my first post, and since my URL has something to do with distress, I’ll start with a depressing post. Depressing in a shallow manner. I can be sooo pathetic. I know.

So I’m twenty-one. In three months, I’ll be twenty-two. I am jobless, still working on a college degree. I was supposed to be a graduate last year but I took a wrong turn in my college life, and here I am! Six years in college. This is my fourth year in a supposed two-year associate course. I’m getting tired. Who wouldn’t? I have no idea what to do in life. It was so easy when I was young. I kinda had a goal. But gahd, reality can be so depressing. And life will let you know in a screwed up way, that you can’t have everything you want. But you do have to work hard for it if you really want it.

I don’t know what I want. That is the hard part. Most of the time, I’m being dragged down. And it’s sad because I know I can do better, be better than this. But I don’t do anything about it. I’m scared, afraid; I don’t want to take risks. And in saying that, I am a hypocrite. I keep telling my friends that in order to be happy, to really get what you want, you need to take risks. And here I am! Scared to even do anything to make my life better, to follow my dreams! If I met myself when I was sixteen, Lord, would I be disgusted in how I’d turn out to be.

I just feel sad… Knowing all this. And yet, I don’t do anything about it…

I just want to write.